Thursday, September 21, 2006
Today would be a good day to just sit on a park bench someplace and just ponder. The past 16 hours have been somewhat surreal for me. At around 9:00 last night, I had gotten word that a friend of mine has cancer. Not just has cancer, as in "it's a small tumor that we caught early", but cancer as in "it started in one place and has already spread to a number of other organs".
I've known Tony for a little over five years now. He sang bass in Z Street (the quartet that I sang baritone in for three years) during its tenure, and we were both in the Sounds of Concord (he started a couple of years before I did, and he is still with them). He, along with Paul (who sang lead with Z Street) and myself would hang out a lot - we three of us still get together for breakfast on the occasional Saturday morning.
I keep thinking back to when my mother-in-law died of cancer back 2003 (shortly coming on the third anniversary of that) - though "anniversary" is a strange word to use for that.
Speaking of which, today also happens to mine and Patti's fifteenth wedding anniversary. Money's been really tight lately, and I've not even been able to get a card...
Things are just too disjointed and weird for me right now. A lot of mixed emotions that I'm having a hard time making sense of. I'm somewhere between numb and nauseous. Based on past experience with this kind of thing, the inevitable full emotional breakdown will happen at some undetermined point in the future.
Right now all I can do is ponder... and pray (and especially, pray).